2001: A Space Odyssey

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I don’t think I got it. I think the bus left the station before I could get on, then I missed to boat and forgot to drink the Kool-Aid. I know the film revolutionized a lot of special effects and apparently changed the whole science fiction genre, but I was not a fan.

So I think 2001: A Space Odyssey goes through four different periods. The first is about the “Dawn of Man” then it goes to 2001 in an space airport type location. Then on a space station, and finally on a mission to Jupiter. Oh and there is this big black rectangle thing that is shown. Apparently it’s supposed to signify evolution?

When Odyssey is in the title I kind of expect it to be a long movie, which is totally fine. And then there is an overture in the beginning because it’s an epic, and that’s cool because who doesn’t like a good overture? But then it starts with “The Dawn of Man” and a bunch of apes, and thats when I was absolutely certain that it was going to be a long ass movie.

Obviously there was no dialogue in the beginning, I mean apes can’t talk, but then the silence continued, and continued, and then it was a half hour into the movie and some people showed up, and finally someone spoke. But even after people were mulling around, there wasn’t that much dialogue. I’m like %90 sure Wall-e used more dialogue. And then because everything has to balance the last half hour had no dialogue. And you know I would have appreciated some dialogue, just in case I wanted to know what was actually happening in the movie.

But the moments when dialogue was spoken, I was terrified. So there is this computer HAL, and he basically runs every thing because he is a computer and he is perfect. But then he gets all messed up, and super mean and murderous, and nobody can override him, because he is supposed to be perfect. And that scared me to pieces, because it could totally happen in the future! What if Siri gets super pissy one day, and decides to send terrible text messages and delete all my contacts? It could totally happen in a 100 years.

So after being terrified of computers, I got to watch a spaceman travel through space for like 10 minutes (I’m like 100% sure ti was an acid trip) and then appear in this room and age rapidly? (I would say spoiler alert, but I didn’t understand it enough to know if I spoiling anything) I basically spent the last twenty minutes with a bitch face on.

My favorite thing about this movie (which isn’t actually in the movie) is the reason that the computer’s name is HAL. So they wanted to name him IBM, but that’s not nice, because the computer goes crazy, so the took the previous letter of I, B and M, making HAL. I think it’s pretty adorable.

I’m sure this meaning has some really philosophical whatever in it that film students just love to talk about. But I’m sorry to say I’m not about that. Give me some hint as to the message of the movie, I mean a message besides computer are super scary.

Rating: 2 out of 5 times the characters actually spoke

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