Forrest Gump


So apparently Forrest Gump is an epic? I don’t know, I don’t think I’m buying it. Where are the awkwardly short robes and the terrible Romans? I know this isn’t the 1960’s anymore but a girl has her expectations. I mean I love Forrest Gump to death, but just because it is long, does not make it an epic.

In case you have lived under a rock for the last nineteen years, Forrest Gump goes through the life of Forrest Gump, a slow witted but incredibly sweet man. If you don’t love Forrest Gump after the first five minutes, you probably don’t have a heart, and therefore your opinion is not valid. I absolutely love Tom Hanks (who plays Forrest Gump), because how can you not? This man can do no wrong, he’s like a male Meryl Streep, he’s the greatest gift Connecticut has ever given, he’s an American Treasure.

All right I think I’m done with my Hanks rant and can safely move on to my “I hate Jenny” rant. In the beginning she is so cute and adorable and loves Forrest, which makes me love her. But as soon as she goes off to college she becomes a huge bitch. I don’t understand what she is trying to accomplish when she shows Forrest Gump her boobs, with her roommate sleeping right there. As a college student, I safely say that she is blatantly ignoring common roommate courtesy  and that shit ain’t right. And she only comes into Forrest’s life when he is famous or wealthy. Where was she was his shrimping business was failing? Oh thats right she was snorting coke. She doen’t deserve Forrest simply because she was nice to him when she was five.

But one of the best parts of the movie is when Haley Joel Osment appeared. That small child actually makes everything better. If there was less Jenny and more him, it would pretty much be the best movie ever. Just look how adorable they are together


And I’m pretty sure I am the only one who thinks the special effects where awesome, especially with today’s technology. But I don’t understand how they can insert Tom Hank into those old videos, my mind is literally blown. Like okay Avatar CGI, but can you make Forrest Gump shake JFK’s hand? Because I find that far more impressive.

This film is more American than apple pie, and is actually a super great way to learn about American history. Although I am pretty disappointed that they didn’t mention Forrest Gump’s relevance to the Watergate Scandal in All the President’s Men. 

Rating: 5 out of 5 boxes of chocolate


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